I was sitting in the cinema the other day and this post idea smacked me in the face whilst I was stuffing my face with nachos (cinema nachos are the best, aren’t they?) and I thought, I bet I would have a heart attack if I knew how many calories were in here which reminded me of the time I was on a diet and had nachos, so looked them up on MyFitnessPal to log my calories and had a full blown cardiac arrest.
‘Your nachos are over a 1000 calories, you know?’ No, I did not know that and was blissfully unaware thank you very much, now I am choking on one trying to figure out why you would be so cruel as to ruin my nacho high?
‘It’s my birthday so I bought in food’ Well good for you Satan but now I have to walk past the foods I have been dreaming about for the past 3 weeks and the only thing getting me through was the fact that I haven’t stepped foot in a shop to avoid looking the food in the eye so I have essentially been eating crumbs for weeks for you to waltz in like a saint giving out gifts. Not today Satan, not today.
You know exactly how this one goes. You brave yourself for eating out, look at the menu before you go, choose in advance and tell your dining partner to absolutely not let you get anything else under any circumstance. You walk in, get seated and the server tells you ‘We have an offer on our deserts today, its buy one get one free’ and you die. You just die. You don’t need to hear about how delicious they are, you have already ordered 3 desserts, a large glass of wine to wash at down and a side of fries and cheesy mash to go with your salad. At least your still having a salad though right?
‘*blah blah blah* is actually really bad for you’ right so you mean to tell me the only food that is getting me through this torturous time is now bad for me too? Nope, you need to leave. Everything seems to have a bad rap on it, even things like tomatoes or eggs; it all needs to bugger off. If I’m not chugging on a wine bottle and filling my stomach with fried carbs then I’m doing ok, ok?
‘You really should be exercising too’ THIS ONE BOILS MY BLOOD. Apart from being lazy and not wanting to do it, I don’t have time and don’t enjoy it. Yes I know I should exercise but I walk sometimes and that is enough for me! Let me eat my celery stick whilst slobbing out in front of Gossip Girl in peace please.
All in all, I hate people when I am dieting. What do you loathe to hear when you’re trying to diet?
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