I know your thinking this will be boring as fuck, believe me, I do but I wanted to talk about it because you may find it as handy as I do. So, contraception, how bloody annoying is it that to enable us to do whatever we want we have to make sure we don’t get pregnant, I am still holding out for a switch on our bodies that turns our fertility on and off or at least the male pill but it looks like I was born about 300 years to early so I am stuck with the responsibility, which by the way, I have completely refused for over a year now. I hate taking the pill and don’t trust my memory, it isn’t worth it so I have used condoms as a method of contraception for quite a while.
On Friday at work, just as my lunch break started I got talking about contraception and someone mentioned the contraceptive patch, I have tried the patch before and I didn’t hate it but the whole rigmarole of visiting a doctor to get a repeat prescription put me off so after 3 months I gave up. I really wanted to get back on contraception and I thought there must be an easier way than to try and get an appointment at my doctors (who by the way, are more useless than a flaccid penis, it’s a joke) so I used beautiful google and came across this service. It is a service ran by Lloyds Pharmacy called Online Doctor. You create an account, enter all of your details and make a request, after answer all the relevant doctor questions the application gets sent to a doctor for them to review. I was lucky enough to have my application reviewed within 20 minutes so after applying on my lunch break at work, 4 hours later I was popping in to the chemist to pick up my prescription. After a check of my height, weight (to make sure I wasn’t lying on my application, I’m sure of it) and blood pressure I was on my way with a lovely patch on my bum cheek which means I am temporarily (and gladly) infertile.
Obviously this service was not free like usual contraception, I had to pay £30 for the pleasure which is a 3 month supply (I could have got 6 months for £50 but I chose not to, cause, well, I’m too broke for that right now and payday is a long way away) but the way I look at it is £10 a month and no hassle of contacting the doctors because I just go back online and order more. As for the patch itself? I love it.