It’s coming up to the two year mark with Maxy and I have learnt so many things about relationships, so many do’s and don’ts that work for my relationship although they may not work for you. The things I have decided to write about, I don’t think they could not apply to any relationship and they are really, really important in mine. I may sound young and naïve but this is the way I want to be. I want to have a fresh and trusting approach because I trust Max, in all honesty I think I always have, we did everything you could imagine way to quick which is why at the 2 year mark I have been living with him for over a year, he told me he loved me after a couple of weeks and we got together very quickly after our first kiss but it worked for us. We were very honest and now I can’t shake him.
1. Watch what you say – I have an evil tongue and it has always been my downfall, if I get angry I tend to say things that I think I mean at the time but I don’t and they tend to be really hurtful. I have never called Max names, I have never said spiteful things in an argument and if I have I am the first to apologise and I think this is really important because I want him to remember always that he is one of the people in my life that I respect the most and I never want him to hurt, whether it’s me who hurts him or not. You can’t take spiteful comments back and they will always linger.
2. Always be truthful – This is so important! Lying to a person you want to spend the rest of your life with really confuses me. There is a fine line though, white lies such as ‘yes honey, I like watching Trailer Park Boys’ whilst really thinking ‘early night for me then’ are normal for a healthy relationship, this doesn’t count. I mean lies such as ‘I am fine’ or ‘I don’t mind’ these are not ok. Lying about things that bug you or things you don’t want them to find out will really affect your relationship. Humans are clever animals and we know when something isn’t quite right.
3. Love hard, really hard – I wouldn’t be surprised if someone checked my phone and told me I had told max I loved him 60 times in one day, I say it all the time. I text it, I whisper it, I show it when I stroke his hair or pull the cover up when I see goose bumps on his arms to keep him warm, I tell him I miss him when he’s been away from me for half an hour, I ask him if he’s eaten, how his day was, if he is okay and all of these things are my way of saying I love you and I say them all the time because it’s important to feel loved. Always.
4. Be nice – Treat them how you would like to be treated. I try to be nice to Max and be there for him. It is hard to consider someone all of the time but in a relationship this is kind of important. I always think of Max when I go in the shop, even if were in a mood with each other ill still grab him a drink or something because the small things count (even if I do throw it at him when I give it to him). Be nice to everyone, it will make you a happier person, just don’t be a pushover (writing this makes me realize how complicated life is, alllllll these boundaries, how does anyone ever get it right ?)
5. Don’t take your partner for granted – Have you ever seen another relationship and thought ‘I am so glad my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t do that’ or ‘I’m so glad we don’t have those issues’ ? I have, and I have also take Max for granted on some days. Everyone does it but it’s so important to be appreciative of everything wonderful your partner does because you could have it so much worse.