This post is not a beauty post or a foodie post, or like anything I have written about before. This post is about a subject that can really affect people, relationships and whole families. This post is on the subject of abortion. I want to say before anyone reads this post I apologise if I offend anyone, this post is my experiences, my opinions and my advice. I debated writing this for a very long time and then I looked into the blogs on the internet about this subject and I was horrified. In fact anything on the Internet with regards to abortion usually horrifies me so I decided to add my bit to the world in hopes that even one person feels comforted, more informed, even just enjoys reading this post.
This is a subject very close to my heart as a little over a year ago I had an abortion. I don’t believe this is something to be ashamed of and I will admit it to anyone that asks me. I admit completely that I was not careful and I put myself in that situation (seriously though guys, it was one time!) and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I remember being told by my nan a couple of year prior, if it can happen to you it will and regardless of your decision you will never forget it and I can now say she was right. It frustrates me that people have unprotected sex and don’t think of the consequences, but I know I can’t stop it so I’ll just move on.
The first thing that inspired me to write this post is how abortion is portrayed on social media. I cannot believe the horrifying words of pro-lifers, calling people murderers and even worse posting photographs, it makes me feel sick. So I went onto the WordPress reader and typed in the word abortion. Guess what ? More horrifying humans claiming to be pro- lifers. Contrary to what you may believe after reading this post so far, I don’t agree with abortion, after going through it myself I feel like there are other options. Women, especially younger women are scaremongered into believing they won’t be able to cope and I disagree with this however if a women is sure she doesn’t want a child then who am I to call her a murderer ?
Working through the issues of an abortion emotionally is hard and I really found that mostly people don’t know what to do or say. Both when they are going through it or when they have a friend going through it. So I thought I would share my own, tips, if they can be called that.
- For any woman experiencing the after emotions of abortion stay away from Google, you will only see horrifying things about how awful someone else perceives you to be which everyone knows you are not.
- Crying is ok, crying is good. I did a lot of it and it makes you feel better.
- Don’t feel strange about naming the child/foetus you lost. A lot of people don’t feel like they have the right to but I have learnt that you grieve in the same way you would if you lost anything else so please, whether you name it ‘bean’ or whichever name you like, or even just using he/she. I found this comforting when using ‘it ‘ felt disrespectful and wrong.
- Talk to someone, anyone! Talk to me if needed! Email me on firstname.lastname@example.org and I will respond. Talking is key to coming to terms with it I believe and I don’t think that anyone should be allowed to go through the experience without counselling sessions after.
- Live your life. This is the step I am working on. Be happy, don’t be afraid to cry when you need to but laugh whenever you can! Laughter is the best medicine.
- Milestones are hard but I found planning activities to take my mind off it helped.
For anyone who knows someone who is dealing with an abortion please just be there to listen and understand that although some people abuse the system and use abortion as a contraception with no care in the world, most people struggle with coming to terms with it. Don’t judge and be patient it will get better.
After my experience I realised I would love to be an abortion counsellor. I realised my relationship was stronger than I ever imagined and I really believe things happen for a reason. So again I apologise if I offended anyone but I had to add a blog post to the world that was understanding rather than judging.
I apologise there is no photographs on this post but I didn’t feel they were appropriate.